To Bait, or Not to Date?

Just as mosquitoes can breed in the most unlikely places, so can romances.

Candle-lighting, rose petals, fragranced breeze are passé. Meet – rubber carpet, damp air, dumbbells – the new components found effective in creating a romantic ambience. Grown rampant post the exploitation of all other dating spots, Gym Dating has come to experience considerable traction in recent times. This concept is defined as, “The flirty banter between two individuals, usually in or around sticky, sweaty environment. Known to cause the hogging of workout machinery. May or may not result in eternal love.”

While serious fitness enthusiasts grace the gym in the mornings, serial daters make up for their lost evenings by socializing at the gym. The latter kind are easy to spot. Sporting gym bags big enough to take on a trip, they come prepared to spend a quarter of their day in the premises. Following their ritual to the T, these daters first scan the premises to identify potential targets – a deciding factor for whether they’ll be in the cardio or the weight section for the day. Once that’s locked upon, it’s time for ‘warm up.’ Not to be mistaken for the 10 minute sprint on the treadmill, this pre-workout practice includes a long halt around the water cooler and a quick escape to the washroom to tuck in that misplaced strand of hair.

Next up comes the tough decision of choosing the treadmill right next to your subject of interest. Not to seem over-eager, these seasoned players tactfully initiate conversation that’ll trigger their neighbors to plug out their earphones and slowen the pace of the treadmill so as to facilitate conversation. Most start with, “Is this taken?” as if they’re seating themselves for coffee. If things go as planned, they’ll be taking it to the next level in the weights section. Afterall, its the only place where ‘Arch your back and bend over for me’ won’t sound dirty.

Here’s when the serial dater starts to picture the gym floor as a dating ground. Replacing the on-call trainers, they take it upon themselves to count from from 1 – 15 for each of the set performed by the person-of-interest. Occasional correction of posture by means of physical touch is a sign of things going really well. Suddenly the scene transforms for the people involved and they linger around the machine as if its a tree in a park, long after the exercise set is over.

Gone are the days when it was found acceptable to put on your ragged t-shirts and scram for a workout. New-age gym etiquette (more like peer pressure) requires you to put on your branded gear, gel your hair, and survive a 30 minute run in a thong.

Here’s hoping that washroom queues are not the next ‘it’ spot for meeting prospective dates.